I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
