I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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