happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
