I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
