glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize
