thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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