She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
