I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
