But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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