Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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