I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize