Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
