I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
