She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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