if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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