Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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