i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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