Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
