Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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