Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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