Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
