Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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