My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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