We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
