Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
