Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
