plz talk dirty to me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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