Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
