Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
