Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
