If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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