he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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