fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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