OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
