Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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