The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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