My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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