I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
