Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
