My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You ruined the universe
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize