and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
