C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
