Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
