She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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