So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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