do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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