Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
