before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
