Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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