You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
