she woke up with a sticky ear
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
