her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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