So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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