Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
