Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
