well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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