did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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