i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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