I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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