I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
