mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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