So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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